I hate waiting for that penny...when I order coffee or something where tip jars exist, and my change is one penny.
If I walk away: "Thanks for the tip, you cheap bastard."
If I wait: "Oh, here's your change, you cheap bastard."
The funny thing is, a one-cent tip just about covers the effort of handing me a self-serve coffee cup.
But that's another blog.
I'm also finished with giving my real name to coffee shop cashiers.
For those unfamiliar, I've always pronounced it: "Marry-oh." It's an An-drea/Ahhn-drea sorta thing. Strictly preference. But apparently, once I leave the northeast region, I'm saying my own name incorrectly.
When I say "Marry-oh," baristas cock their heads like dogs at a Sonic Youth show.
I shit you not. I thought, really? BARRY-O topped the list on your mental quick-correct? Let's try again.
-How do you spell that?
Sure. My mistake.
One time, after going through this at the register, the girl making my coffee held up a cup and shouted: "I have a tall Americano in the window for MARIA!"
I just smiled and said: "MARRY-oh."
She replied: "Oh, I'm fine, how are YOU?"
So now I'm Jack. You can't fuck up "Jack." Right?
That's what I thought until I used it recently: "I have a tall Americano in the window for JEFF."
posted by [mario digiorgio] on 10/11/2010 04:03:00 PM