Why are we so reluctant to speak our minds? I find it hilarious that we describe or define some folks as "someone who doesn't pull punches," or someone who's "not afraid to tell it like it is." That kills me...not afraid. People actually fear telling the truth. Is it then safe to say that those people fear the truth? Maybe.
Why is it so much easier to lie? Rather, why do we think it is? Have you ever tried living with a lie? I have. They make terrible roommates. Dirty laundry everywhere. Perpetual guilt trips. It's so not worth it. I'm of the ilk that both telling and learning the truth should be done in one swift motion. Like ripping off a band-aid or jumping into a pool. Sure, there's a brief sting or chill, but then it's over, and things get easier. Life gets easier.
On that note, let's explore that second cliche.
If the pool represents life--bear with me, fellow cynics--then I propose there are three types of people out there: Those who dip their toes first; those who cannonball; and those who steer clear of the water altogether. Within those three groups are two subsets:
Toe Dippers: Practical/Timid
Cannon Ballers: Selfless/Selfish
Land Lovers: Once-bitten/Brainwashed
Toe Dippers:
Practical - They're going into that pool. Hell, they're looking forward to it. Maybe not today and not right away, but sometime indeed, dammit. Count on it.
Timid - Their curiosity is weaker than their fear. When they dip, it's with uncertainty, not anticipation. Even when they're finally in, they never get comfortable, and they always stay in the shallow end.
Cannon Ballers:
Selfless - I want to enjoy myself, but not at the expense of others' enjoyment.
Selfish - I'm jumping in, no matter who gets wet. Outta the way, shitbags, here I come.
Land Lovers:
Once-bitten - And that's all it took. Never again. That pool is a death-trap. I won't even get in the tub. But maybe someday. Maybe.
Brainwashed - That pool is evil! EVIL, I tells ya! How do I know? It's what I heard. I've been told my whole life there was no lifeguard on duty, so I suggest we all stay indoors.
Each group's subset is either positive and beneficial for growth; or damaging and stunting. Even the Once-Bitten Land Lover may find the courage to try again. As much as I'd love to consider myself a Selfless Cannon Baller, the truth is I've been a Practical Toe-Dipper my entire life. But I'm due for a promotion. Overdue, actually.
It's at this point where you might expect me to encourage everyone to "dive into life," (ewww) but here's the thing: The pool is only so big, and I rely on the Land Lovers and the Timid Toe-Dippers to keep the deep end relatively empty and urine-free. Furthermore, society has a way of rejecting and eventually forcing the Selfish Cannon Ballers into finding another swimmin' hole.
As far as skinny-dipping? I'm all for it. Just as long as I can take my trunks off after I get in the water.
Fear this (points to crotch),
mario
p.s. any/all comments must contain equally-moronic water metaphors.
3 comments:
"p.s. any/all comments must contain equally-moronic water metaphors."
Well then, this will certainly meet the requirements.
I would suggest another subset for each group. People don’t get in the pool because they don’t know how to swim. People avoid the truth because they can’t cope with it. It is so much easier to let the lifeguard tell us the pool rules than to have to think for ourselves. Building on this metaphor of water as truth let me suggest another moronic metaphor. I have lived in rural areas where the water supply was from wells. In the "pure" fresh water there was the strong taste and odor of sulfur. Appropriate because truth stinks ( and makes you gag.) There is far more comfort in the pool rules that God/Allah/ Krishna/Flying Spaghetti Monster loves and cares for you than in the truth that we are just a result of a the cosmic probability crap shoot. Wouldn’t we rather believe that love lasts forever than face the truth that love is water. Sometimes it falls upon us, sometimes it refreshes us, sometimes we can bathe or swim in it, but eventually it will always evaporate. (Not to mention how it feels when love grows cold and turns to ice) And to take this last moronic metaphor to its logical conclusion, the only hope we have is the knowledge that the cycle repeats. We can not handle the truth. We want our "Truth" filtered, sanitized, and packaged for our convenience, like bottled water.
So back to the pool, why are we so reluctant to speak our minds? No one wants to stir up the sludge on the bottom of the pool.
aside to Mario: I look forward to seeing you perform again in June in Indy. Are you going to be on the Bob and Tom show that week?
aside #2: if you need an opener at Crackers, consider giving Scott Bird a shot. He’s local and could use the break. Check him out on Rooftop Comedy.
aside#3: Speaking of Rooftop, your "Dueling Billboards" piece is pure brilliance. Kudos. Are you going to add the k*it*t*y logo to your tshirt line?
you're supposed to leave a comment, not another blog. ha. but i like it!
and don't forget the self-destructive types who cannon ball into an empty pool on purpose.
see you in B'Ripple in June(?)
thanks for the kind words! and yes, i do plan on re-making the KITTY logo for shirts.
You sound like yer in a lotta pain, buddy.
Post a Comment